Running Back to Saskatoon

The day that I thought would never come has already been and gone. I was finally going back to Canada after ten long months. My last week included all of the regular things I’d have to do in order to leave France. I returned my cell phone, packed my suitcases (and hoped that they weren’t overweight), and went to the bank to close my account. Boy, was that an adventure in itself. She cut up my bankcard right in front of me and then decided to tell me the bad news after the fact. Turns out the cheque that I cashed in the week earlier had still not gone through and wouldn’t go through until July 7th. I was scheduled to leave July 2nd. I therefore needed a BIC-Swift number as well as an IBAN number (two things that I had absolutely no idea what they were) so that they could wire the money into my Canadian account. I explained that I didn’t have these numbers with me (not only that but I had no way to contact my parents to ask since they were at a Skypeless cabin and I was without a cellphone) and I was later given a fax number to fax the account numbers to the bank once I returned to Canada. That left me with a grand total of 8 Euro and 2 cents to last me for my last three days in France. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to pay for any drinks (except the drinks from Benjy) at the Celtique or else I would have really been screwed.

Wednesday was my goodbye day. Once Adriana and I got the chance, we went to the Celtique with our huge basket filled with American food, all of which we bought at the American grocery store in Paris. It included things such as a box of Whisky Sour, Reese’s peanut butter cups, peanut butter M&Ms, goldfish crackers, as well as some other little things. The Celtique guys all were very thankful and we were quite surprised when Stéphane (or Funny Guy) presented us with gifts as well. We each got a mug with our first initial on it, as well as a picture frame with a picture of my four girlfriends and Stéphane sitting at one of the tables. It was so hard, knowing that I’d be leaving the Celtique, never to see the waiters or to return again (at least not in the next two years…). It was harder saying bye to Adriana, the girl who was with me from the very beginning and with whom I’d spent almost everyday with in the last ten months, Christmas and New Year’s included.

That night, I tucked the kids into bed. Saying bye to Alice was quite easy and she didn’t seem to be too upset by it but saying goodbye to Antoine was a lot harder than I’d thought it would be. Every time I said goodnight and got up to go, he’d ask me another, “But why do you have to go?” and I’d have to try to explain to him yet again that I had family and friends at home that I needed to see. “But they can just come here and see you,” he’d say, trying to convince me to stay. I eventually said my last goodbye and went up to my room, only to hear the kids run out of bed to their parents and ask them endless questions of why I was leaving. Well, c’est la vie…

I got up at five in the morning to get the last of my stuff ready and went downstairs at around 5:45 to find Anne waiting for me in the kitchen. She dropped me off at the Rambouillet train station (really, a nice offer considering it was a 10-minute walk and also would have most likely been the easiest part of my journey…) and left before the train had even come. The train came at 6:11 and I hauled my two 50-pound suitcases, my 20-pound purse, and my 30-pound backpack onto the train without any help from anyone. I got a nice spot on the stairs since all of the seats were taken and tried not to think about the stress I would be going through once the next 30 minutes went by. The train arrived in Paris a half an hour later and I quickly bolted off the train and walked as fast as a person hauling 150-pounds of extra weight could walk. I finally made it to the bus, which would take me from where I was to the airport. I gave one of the guys my suitcases and then went up to the driver with my Visa ready. “Oh, I don’t have a machine for that…” the driver said, “Do you have any cash?” I pretended to look through my wallet even though I already knew the answer, “Um, only 8 Euros… Are there any cash dispensers around?” The driver was quite polite and did a quick look through the street, “Not that I know of…I’ll tell you what. When we stop at the Gare de Lyon, you can get cash out there. There are lots of banks nearby.” This must be my lucky day (or so I thought), “Thank you so much!” I said, as I took a seat near the front. When we finally arrived to the Gare de Lyon 15 minutes later, I ran up to the driver and asked where the cash machine was. She seemed startled and had totally forgotten about me and I realized maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. She pointed me into the direction and told me to hurry so I quickly ran across the street, taking my debit from home and praying that it would work. “We’re sorry, your bank has ordered us to return your card.” No. I ran to the closest Tabac, “Do you do cashbacks?” I yelled in most likely horrible grammar but I didn’t care. “No, I don’t have a machine for that.” I then ran across the street to the café, desperate for the money. I asked the man who looked like the manager who told me it was illegal to do so, and I was nearly in tears. I walked back to the bus feeling defeated and told the driver that it didn’t work, and I was kicked off the bus. So there I was with all of my bags, at a bus stop in the middle of Paris, with the packing man as my only company. I was surprised at how nice he was and he seemed determined to get me to the airport. He helped me take my bags down the sidewalk, and down the stairs into the metro station where I bought an RER ticket with my Visa and thanked the man before saying goodbye. I caught the next RER and had to get off at the next stop in order to switch again. Once I finally got on the next RER (which would take me straight to the CDG airport), it finally hit me that I was leaving. I thought of the Celtique, my friends, the waiters, and I broke down crying with a good thirty people watching me, not knowing what to think. I got to the airport at 8:15, got a trolley and walked as fast as possible to the check-in counters, which took about 10 minutes. They were supposed to take the last customer at 8:30 so I got there just in time… to find a humungous line of people still waiting. I got talking to a girl a few years older than me so we kept each other company for the next half hour. I finally got to the check-in counter only to find out that A) my bags were underweight, yay! And B) the flight was two hours delayed. Lovely. I got in the line for security, which must have taken at least 45 minutes. Once I got through, I found the girl I had met earlier (lucky for her, she was an EU citizen and got to go through the special security line) so we kept each other even more company for the next two hours. Within 15 minutes, the gate was changed so we quickly moved and found a spot. After an hour, they started serving sandwiches for all of the passengers so we got in the huge line. We waited for about 15 minutes and when we were literally the second people in line, the sandwiches mysteriously disappeared and the lady announced that the gate was changed and we could get the sandwiches there. By that time, everyone was getting superannoyed as we all walked upstairs and downstairs to get to the next gate and get our sandwiches. They finally did the boarding call and we went through and found out that we had to take a bus in order to get to the plane, which only made the process longer. People were squished on the bus from back to front and only when there was no more room left for someone to move a finger, the bus would leave and a new one would come. Once all 300 customers got on the plane, we were ready for takeoff. I cried on that plane too, read a bit, and mostly just listened to my iPod. The flight seemed to take forever but I finally got to Toronto with only an hour and a half until my next flight. While waiting for the baggage claim to start, I decided to take the time to call my parents since they asked me to call them once I got into Toronto. I first tried to collect call, only to find out that my house didn’t accept collect calls, so then I decided I could use my three toonies (which brought a warmness to me just by looking at them). That didn’t really work to my advantage considering the payphone only accepted loonies and lower. Well, my parents would have to go without a phonecall. Luckily, my bags were two of the first twenty that came out so I took them and ran to get to the customs lineup. I got through, checked my bags back in, and then went to the long security line. The first thing I saw once I through security was a heavenly Tim Horton’s sign, almost calling to me and telling me to get that iced cappuccino that I haven’t had for the past year. But I had no time. I made my way to my gate just in time for them to start the boarding call and I got on the plane knowing that my ten months of built-up stress could finally be let go. The plane ride back to Saskatoon seemed to take longer than the last one that I was on but I finally saw the familiar bridges, as well as the river, and couldn’t stop smiling to myself. My family was there to greet me and I managed to stay up until ten that night before passing out in my bed.

My two weeks back have went by so fast and it almost seems like I haven’t even left (when it comes to seeing everyone again). I still notice little differences and miss a lot of France. I realized during my first supper that my entire family was eating normally in the Canadian way whereas I had the French habits stuck in my head and couldn’t help but laugh to myself once I noticed. It’s hard to have the people I come back to not quite understand that I’m glad to be home but that I still miss where I was before. It’s hard to try to share, “Well in France, we do this...” only to be answered with, “Well you’re not in France anymore.” I felt like with many people, I was given a half an hour to talk about my experience but once that half an hour was up, we had to go back to normal and the subject could never be brought up again without people getting annoyed. And with many other people, the subject wasn’t even brought up at all. So now, I’m left to only think about my experiences to myself and write to the people who shared those experiences with me whether it be my friends I met there or the waiters at the Celtique. I understand where people are coming from and I know that I can’t always live in the past so I’m going along with it as best as I can. But the hardest thing of all is coming back and feeling like I had just woken up from a dream and having no one to confirm all of the memories I have. No one to whom I can say, “Hey, remember that time when…”; it’s just me and my memories.
Running Back to Saskatoon – Guess Who

Sweet Tangerine

The time until I get a life is getting shorter and shorter; I can’t wait for the day where I won’t have to change another diaper, prepare another bottle, bathe another child, or do one of Anne’s numerous pointless jobs. To live with a perfectionist could be the worst thing in the world to you, but obviously you’ve never lived with a crazy, French perfectionist. To live and work with a crazy perfectionist means that you have to think like a perfectionist. You have to think of and remember every little thing (which would come to a perfectionist’s mind easily). If you happen to forget one tiny thing, remember: IT’S NEVER TINY IN A PERFECTIONIST’S MIND! It sure doesn’t help when they have all the most difficult materials and surfaces to clean. A girl like me would want to forget all of the little, horrible jobs I’ve had to do, but some are just unforgettable. Cleaning all the bird crap off of the kids’ play house was one that stood out a bit, or cleaning out the kids’ sandbox as well as all of the toys, or who can forget the time just last week when I scrubbed the handles of their living room armoire with a toothbrush? All I can say is that I’m so glad to go back to a place where I won’t feel judged 24/7.

The last weekend, the girls and I went to the Versailles gardens, which had a fountain music show. It was neat to see and we even ended up surviving the unbearable heat. Because it was Helena’s last weekend, we spent Saturday night doing another Rambouillet pub-crawl. We were even invited into our café after they closed, so we each had a drink while the guys cleaned up (you know you’re a regular when…). On Sunday, Adriana and I went to Paris and walked around Montmartre for a bit before meeting up with Aimee and her boyfriend for nachos and drinks. Helena is unfortunately leaving us in only two days; it’ll be sad not having her happy and fun self with us any longer. Her departure is making us all realize how close the end is. Speaking of the end, I only have 16 more days left! Monday will be my ten-day point! I’ve already started packing and I’m starting to stress over whether I’ll be able to take everything with me or not. Not only that, but making it to the airport on my own will definitely be quite the adventure. I hope that everyone is enjoying the last of Spring! I’ll see you all soon!!!!!! Love always

Oh yes! And my favourite part:
New Household Rules as of Today (obviously someone has been doing some research)
1) The kids are not aloud to use any cordless phones in the house. If grandma calls, they must use the corded phone in the parents' bedroom.
2) (more of just a guideline than an actual rule) Cell phones should be turned off at night and if talking on the cell phone, the speaker should be used and the phone should be away from your head.
3) No matter what phone is being used (cordless, corded, cell phone), you must switch it from ear to ear on a regular basis.
4) The last person who is up using a computer must shut off the WiFi before going to bed (aka me).
5) When using the microwave, everyone (especially kids!) must be at least two metres away from it.
Sweet Tangerine – The Hush Sound

An End Has A Start

A cloudy and rainy day has forced me to stay inside and write another blog. Then again, I guess it’s been almost two weeks since my last one. In two more days, I’ll have a short three weeks left in France. The time is going at a pace that I enjoy: not too fast, but not too slow either. I feel like I still have enough time to enjoy everything that I can and still, in a matter of time I will be back at home, sleeping in my bed for 48 hours straight.

My weekdays have been spent at the Celtique or sitting in the castle grounds, enjoying the sunshine. I’ve tried to spend as little time possible locked in my bedroom, for it causes thinking which usually leads to sad thoughts, whether it be about missing home or leaving France. We therefore have made the Celtique into our second home and we got our REAL regular status only last week. Saturday May 30th, a day like no other because it was Helena’s fake birthday. Adriana, Aimee, Helena and I went to the Celtique that afternoon at around five. We told Benjy it was Helena’s birthday and the waiters brought out a chocolate fondue and even sung a little. The waiters were all extra-nice that day, stopping to talk to us every time they passed our table, and we had a great time. We even got a few free drinks in(!). We finally left at around 8:30, when they were closing up and we started our own Rambouillet pub-crawl, going to three more of the bars and pubs in Rambouillet. A great night and great fun!

The following week had a lot of cafés, picnics, and creepy, weird guys involved. Thursday night, we decided to go to one of the school’s parties, which had marshmallow-roasting included. On Saturday night, my family had a party with all of Anne’s high school friends. That made me in charge of looking after all ten children..., which actually wasn’t so bad. Then on Sunday, Helena, Adriana, and I went to Chartres, a town about a half-hour away, very well known for it’s cathedral. We looked around the cathedral, as well as took a tour around the city on a train. We were also lucky enough to be in town during the Perfume Festival! Once we returned to Rambouillet, we went back to the Celtique (and got another round of drinks on the house, yay!) and then went out for a pizza dinner.

This week is supposed to be rainy the entire time but I’m hoping that the weatherman will be wrong, as he usually is. It’s difficult to find things to do that don’t involve spending money when we only have inside options. I hope that everyone is having a great time and I’ll see you all in 24 days! Love always
An End Has A Start - Editors

Dead End

May is coming to a close, meaning I only have June left to get through! Actually, today is my 5-weeks-left point, which is absolutely insane! That’s the exact same amount of time that I was in Quebec (and Quebec went superfast!). On Thursday, I spent the afternoon at Adriana’s along with Helena. Last week, I told Adriana that I was craving Kraft Dinner so a few days later, she surprised me with a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese from the American grocery store in Paris (and you’ll never guess how much it cost… 6.50 Euro, equaling to about 11 dollars Canadian!). We chose to make it at her house that afternoon, and being able to eat it definitely reminded me of home. The next day was class so we learnt some French before having a picnic in the castle grounds. Helena and I then met Adriana at the Celtique. Our “regular” status is getting higher and higher every time we come. The head guy now kisses us on the cheek every time we go, and each waiter makes sure that they stop to say hello. They’re going to be so sad when we leave… I then went to Adriana’s for dinner and a movie before returning back home.

Saturday wasn’t the prettiest day ever. Adriana and I went to Versailles to have lunch at our usual restaurant (which has the best chocolate mousse in the world!). We then met up with Helena in Saint Quentin to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic, since the weather wasn’t all that great to do anything else. On Sunday, I believe it was a high of 30. The girls and I spent two hours walking around Paris looking for a market, store, anything, that was open (while dying of heat all at the same time). When we finally found one and bought a lunch and snacks, we made our way to the Bois de Boulogne, a gorgeous park just outside of Paris. We scarfed down the food before passing out on the grass to enjoy a nice and long rest. Monday’s weather was the exact same, except with a high of 33. I spent most of my day in the castle grounds, just lying down in the park. Now, the weather is back to being cloudy and rainy but it should bounce back soon (just hopefully not as hot).

I’m getting really excited to come back home but it’s still not feeling real yet. I realize that I will be back in Saskatoon in five weeks but it’s so hard to think that in order to do that, I’m going to have to leave here at the same time. It’ll be hard not having my usual café to go to, that’s for sure! Anyway I hope everyone enjoys the rest of May and starts off June well! Love always
Dead End – The Format

Farewell to the Fairground

Wow, it’s been awhile.. I guess I haven’t had much to say or ponder during the past two weeks. One thing I’m quite proud about that has happened recently is that I am now sporting a watch tan. That’s right, my arm is tan(ish) except for one white band around my wrist. I’m quite proud of this watch tan; I’ve never had a watch tan before. Why? Well because I’ve never worn a watch before coming here. Funny thing is ever since I’ve come here, my watch has been set to Saskatoon time. Yes, the past 8.5 months, I’ve been wearing a watch that right now reads 2:49PM. Pointless you may think, but I only read the minute hand anyway.

The next time I saw my friends again was the following Saturday when I went to their apartment in Paris. We went straight to the Montmartre area, walked around and then went for dinner at a piano bar. Steph and I then went to Rambouillet while Katie and Donna did some more exploring Paris. Steph and I met up with Adriana and we walked through the Rambouillet fair (which was put up just for the weekend)! We then went to the Celtique for some cokes (and kisses from one of the waiters) and then made our way back to Paris. The next morning, Katie, Steph, Donna, and I went to church and then went out for lunch. They had an afternoon of museums so I went to the Bois de Boulogne with Adriana, a gorgeous forest-y area with a big pond. We’re definitely planning to go back once the weather finally cooperates. I met up with the friends again to have dinner under the Eiffel Tower and then I made my way back home.

Steph and Katie came back to Rambouillet on Wednesday to spend two more hours with me before they had to go back home. We got my favourite drink at my café and then we got Chinese food and had a picnic in the park. It wasn’t TOO horrible saying bye to them because I knew that it would only be 50 more days until I saw them again, but I definitely loved their company! This week, the weather hasn’t really cooperated at all. Helena, an au pair who was here during my very early months in France, has returned and is here to stay for the next month so Adriana and I have been enjoying her company. We’ve been spending most of our time in either a café or a movie theatre, thanks to the rain. Saturday night, Adriana and I went to Easy Virtue, a movie that now seems quite bad compared to the other ones we saw. On Sunday, we went to Good Morning England (that’s the translation. The real title is The Boat that Rocked) which was definitely the best out of the three. And today at ten in the morning, we went to Star Trek, which was actually not as bad as I thought it would be. Adriana and I were the only girls in the theatre, surrounded by many old guys who were there by themselves, and then one group of teenage guys.

The weather is slowly getting warmer as the days go by so I’m excited to be able to spend more time outside. In two more days, I only have 6 weeks left which is absolutely insane! That means I have six more days to go to Paris so the girls and I are planning our time as well as we can. I hope everyone isn’t letting the horrible weather there affect your moods and I’m looking forward to seeing you all soon!!! (44 days!!!) Love always
Farewell to the Fairground – White Lies

You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet

It’s May! And tomorrow, it’s officially 8 weeks until I’m back in Saskatoon. How crazy eh? And to think I started with 42.. Life is going well. I don’t really know what to think anymore, whether it be excited to come home, sad to leave, or scared I’m not going to fit everything else into the short amount of time I have left.

The friends (Katie, Steph, and Donna) arrived Friday at noon and I spent the entire weekend with them! It was great to see them all again and to be able to know that they were only a 20 minute walk away from my house. On Friday, we went to my café and ended up staying there for three hours, not cause we wanted to but because the waiter kept forgetting to give us our bill. We then went back to my house to talk over some peach juice (thanks Steph!) and then we ordered a pizza to eat before they went back to their hotel. Saturday was our shopping day. We went to the Rambouillet market and explored all the stores downtown, then went to my café for the usual morning chocolat viennois. We got some Chinese food to go and went to Saint-Quentin to continue our shopping. That evening, we ordered another pizza and I spent the night with them in their hotel. On Sunday, we got up nice and early to get to church. We then went for falafels and afterwards, tried to find their apartment that they’d be moving into later in the week. I was the tour guide as usual so I was leading the way in my nice, purple dress that I bought the day before. Now picture this: Four girls walking down a busy street in the middle of Paris, not on a sidewalk but in the middle boulevard island thing - a nice, open space. I led the girls over a sidewalk grate when all of a sudden, a metro HAPPENS to go by underneath me, making a huge gust of wind flow up to expose my entire backside to the street! Well at least now, no one needs to pay for a Moulin Rouge show...I ended up getting the most catcalls I’ve ever gotten in a given ten seconds. Oh well, life goes on. I’m over it and I think it’ll leave a fond memory for everyone involved. We spent the rest of the day on the island of Paris, one of my favourite spots. On Monday, we all met up at the café again and then walked through the castle grounds. I haven’t seen my friends since because I’ve been working and I won’t see them again until Friday but I’m pretty sure we have a fun weekend ahead of us. I hope everyone’s having a great time and I’ll see you all in 57 days!! Love always
You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet - BTO

Time Won’t Let Me Go

Another week has gone by and we’re already at the end of April. I’m so excited that my countdown is at the two-months-left point; I’m really excited to get back home at this point. I feel like I’ve seen and learned what I need to, and I’m getting superpumped to see everyone back at home. Not only that but I have so many summer plans that I’m looking forward to!

My week last week was quite long, probably because it was still the holidays so I didn’t have a set-schedule. I was finally free Saturday afternoon so I made my way to Paris to go to Lost in Paris! I got there at around 5:30 and found myself with two choices. I could 1) Get a good seat (it was rush seating) on a balcony to watch a show that I can watch a million times over whenever I want to OR 2) Get a good spot on the red carpet and MEET I don’t know who. I went for choice number two. After two hours of waiting, I finally realized I had the advantage in this situation. Everyone around me spoke French; some were practicing what they knew in English, which consisted of “Hello” “Goodbye” “How do you like Paris?” Well of course, the people who were coming would obviously only speak English right? So finally after those two hours, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse stepped out of their Jeep Limo thing. I freaked out because they’re the producers of LOST; they started my huge obsession, and I used to listen to them every week on their Lost podcast. Damon was trying out his French, saying “Bonjour” and “Merci.” Really, that seemed like all he knew. So when he needed a pen, I seemed to be the only one to understand him, letting him use my pen and also letting him sign my notebook. Carlton was awkwardly standing behind him, not really knowing what to do so I reached out my book to him and he came up to sign it. He started to say, “How are you?” which slowly descended into nothing because I think he realized he was in France but when I replied with “Good, thanks,” I think he was kind of surprised. He gave me back my pen, I said thanks and then he just paused and said, “You don’t really sound very French…” So I said I was Canadian and he moved on to the next person. However, while he was signing the next person’s ticket, he continued, “So what are you doing in Paris?” And I got to have a conversation with Carlton Cuse! He was supernice and I think he was just happy to find someone who spoke English haha. After they left, I waited for another half hour and a cameraman came out and said everyone who was coming was already in the building so we all left to find our seats (I’m pretty positive he was lying and now I can only think, what if I stayed and met the two actors?). As I sat down way in the back, packed in the middle of 2999 other people, I still had an excitement in me; I was finally here! It started off with a couple songs played by an unknown band, then went on to interviews. The two actors who came were Evangeline Lily (Kate) and Michael Emerson (Ben) and trust me, Michael Emerson still sounds as creepy as on the show, even when answering normal questions. We then proceeded to watch the first episode of season 5, which was so good! I was in shock when it was finished, thinking to myself, “That’s it?!” So now I’m only looking forward to coming back home to watch the rest of the season in one day.

On Sunday, I got up and went to church before coming back and going to the café with Adriana. I was in the middle of opening a present when Benjy (my favourite waiter) comes up to give us our cokes. As he takes his time opening each bottle, and then awkwardly stands there afterwards, I feel like I have to say something to him. Well the reaction I got when I told him it was my birthday the next day was definitely not the reaction I was expecting, at least not with so much enthusiasm. “Oh really?! Well, happy birthday!” he said with a big smile on his face, kind of bopping around. Anyway, long story short, he left a receipt on the table with a note that said, “The cokes are a present, happy birthday!” Definitely made my day. Adriana and I went out for supper afterwards and then I went back home.

Monday was my actual birthday. We skipped school and instead went to our other café. Our favourite guy wasn’t there so we didn’t try the whole birthday thing again. Afterwards, I started my big day of work. The family made me a cake, which was nice, and I opened all of my birthday cards and read my birthday greetings (Thanks everyone!). All in all, it was a good day. I’m looking forward for this week to finally finish because in only two days, Steph, Katie and Donna are coming to visit for two weeks! I’m so excited; it’ll be nice to have some more people come visit. I hope everyone starts off their May well; I’ll see you all in 64 days! Love always
Time Won’t Let Me Go – The Bravery

Sound of Freedom

Well it’s definitely been awhile but now I actually have activities to write about! Since I last wrote, Lauren has already come and gone. Our short week together was so much fun! I got up bright and early last Sunday morning to make the two-hour trip to the airport to pick up my sister. After she finally came out, we went to church (which I’m surprised she stayed awake through) and then made our way back home. I managed to make her stay up until 10:30 that evening so that we could start off our week Monday morning. On Monday, we went to my café “Le Celtique” and I gave the waiters Tim Horton’s cappuccino mix, as well as many Coffee Crisp chocolate bars; they seemed to be pretty excited and Lauren and I got free drinks! After that, we went into Paris and did many of the touristy things. We started off exploring the islands of Paris, going to the Notre-Dame, and then we went to Montmartre and traveled up to the Sacre Coeur. It was such a nice night and it was a lot of fun! We had supper in Montmartre, in a restaurant that didn’t look too appealing at first. We walked in and there was a piano and two tables but we found out that after turning many corners and climbing more stairs, there was a whole other section to sit in. We ate our meal, and listened to the live piano while enjoying the French atmosphere.

On Tuesday, we were planning to go to the Catacombes but the line up literally went around the block; the end of the line was almost at the entrance. We instead decided to go to the Gardens of Luxembourg, my personal favourite gardens of Paris. We then had our snack at Crêpes À Gogo (nutella crêpes, of course) and then we made a quick stop at the Louvre grounds. Wednesday was a great day! We went to the Parc Asterix, the amusement park in Paris not visited by many tourists. It had a Greek section, a Rome section, and many fun rides as well as a dolphin show! Lauren and I had a lot of fun, but were definitely wornout by the end of the day. On Thursday, we started at the Louvre and walked towards the Eiffel Tower, which was a superlong walk. Once we got to the Tower, we were already too tired to climb it so we saved it for later.

On Friday, we finally got to go to the Catacombes! They were actually really neat and not as creepy as I thought they would be. A cave built with walls of bones – definitely not something you see everyday, especially when the bones belong to six million people. After that experience, we made our way to the Cité des Sciences, the science centre of Paris. I realized how much I have forgotten since high school, but there were some really cool things there. We then went to the Opera building before heading back home. Saturday was our shopping day. We went to the market of Rambouillet before going to Saint-Quentin and Paris so that Lauren could shop for souvenirs. We packed up all of Lauren’s (and my) stuff that night. On Sunday, we took all the suitcases with us to church and afterwards, dropped it off at our hotel. We had a nice Canadian brunch at the Moosehead (always a must when coming to Paris) and then we finally went to the Eiffel Tower. After the 500th step, I was about ready to pass out, but we finally made it to the second level at the 658th step! Now I can officially say that I’ve climbed the Eiffel Tower! Afterwards, we walked to the Arc de Triomphe before shopping for more souvenirs. That night, we went out for dinner on the island and then we headed back to our hotel. Monday morning, we woke up nice and early to get to the airport. Lauren left and I headed back to Rambouillet to a full day of work. The family left again Tuesday morning and come back this afternoon. So what does a girl do when she has a free night? She goes to Paris and goes to a class at her church, of course! It was really interesting and I met a lot more people at the church. This afternoon, I’m planning to just hang out, maybe go to the café and hopefully the rest of the week will go by quickly. Lost in Paris is only in 3 more days, yay!!! I hope everyone has had a great holiday! Love always
Sound of Freedom - Bob Sinclair (PS If you go out walking, this is a great song to do it to, especially when you're running late for the train)

Liberta

Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value (The Shack by WM. Paul Young). Being in the French world, I’ve noticed how many people strive to be perfect. You know that we’re having guests over as soon as you walk in the front door and see the floors “perfectly” cleaned. Or when you walk into the kitchen and see that “homemade” loaf sitting on the counter. Everyone seems so happy from the outside, but I’ve lived on the inside and I can tell you that it’s definitely not the case. I can give plenty of examples of perfect moments that were perfect to me but may not seem as perfect to you, and you could do the same. Take the snowday in Saskatoon, for example. Now looking back, the day just seemed perfect in a way: snow absolutely everywhere, having to stop every three minutes, not knowing if you would actually get home, finally getting home an hour later when it usually takes less than three minutes, friends having to stay overnight because they don’t have any other choice, all the excitement made it a good day. Then again, I wasn’t one of the people who had to go outside and shovel... However, how many people would have thought it was the worst day ever because they had somewhere to get to, or because it was inconvenient for them? Looking back at my last blog post, it really depends on if you look at it in a positive way or a negative way. Who sets the bar for perfection anyway? We all know that the perfect score on a test would be 100% but you can’t exactly give a mark for the cleanliness of your house, or how perfect your family and life is. We each set that bar and we keep setting it higher and higher until we drive ourselves crazy. We try to view our lives as other people would see it, and we think, “Well this has to be better or they’ll judge me,” when really, other people’s bars of perfection might be a lot lower than yours. We try to be perfect so that we will not be judged by the people around us. But what makes them so perfect; what makes them have the right to judge you? If you spend all your time trying to be perfect, trying to live up to everyone else’s standards, who are you really living your life for? Why are we expected to have the best clothes, the biggest and cleanest house, and the most perfect family?

This week was rocky, with many high and many low points. I let the high parts take over for most of it. The weekend was a lot of fun; I spent most of it at Adriana’s and we made cookies and then met up with Aimee so that we could take pictures (I believe Adriana posted most of them on facebook). That night, we watched Mamma Mia before playing some Guitar Hero. The next day, we went out for lunch at a Tex Mex Restaurant (yay taco salad!), and then we went to the Arc de Triomphe, only to find out that they cancelled the usual “Free the First Sunday of the Month” rule, which too many tourists knew anyway. This is my last working week before my vacation; Lauren comes in five days! I’m getting superpumped! I hope everyone has a great week. Love always
Liberta – Pep’s (Feat Djazia)

Please Don't Stop the Rain

What exactly is life? According to my dictionary, life is the existence of an individual human being or animal, the period between the birth and death of a living thing, a biography. We each get one; we each live one. How we choose to live it can be based on our decisions or based on another person’s decisions. How we choose to look at it is based on us and us alone. Two people could have the exact same life: a decent job, small family, financial problems, whatever. One might wake up every morning with a smile on his face, ready to start the day off and looking forward to whatever challenges he might face that day. If bad things come his way, he can get through it; if good things come his way, even better. His family isn’t perfect but they all care about each other, he doesn’t have the greatest job but it still gets them by. The other one might wake up every morning feeling sort of lost, like he needs something more. What he has isn’t good enough; he feels like he should be promoted, his family wasn’t the “trophy family” that he always thought he’d have, he wants a bigger house, all these problems at work are just putting more stress on him. So of course Positive Man goes to work, there are some problems but he handles them with a breeze. He comes back home to a happy family and they have a nice dinner together that evening. Negative Guy goes to work and there are the same problems but he just gets annoyed and doesn’t handle them very well, making him angry for the rest of the day. He goes home to a happy family but because he’s so stressed about work, he blows up at his kids for making too much noise while he’s trying to rest, changing the entire family’s mood for dinnertime. Why did Positive Man have such a better day? Well the answer’s obvious, isn’t it? You can live your life wanting more all the time, thinking that it will make everything better but the truth is, whether you have a bigger house or a better family, it won’t make all of your problems disappear. You can wake up not wanting to go through another day at your job and just look at everything that happens as a plot to make you miserable or you can wake up knowing that today’s going to be another great day because if it isn’t, you will make it be. Why do we always feel the need to point out why life sucks most of the time? Why when talking to friends, you tend to tell them more about what’s bothering you rather than telling them what’s really lifting your spirits? Change one letter in the word Love and it spells out Live. To love life is living; if you’re not enjoying it, you’re not living life at all.

The family left for the weekend so I just did whatever. Friday night, I was watching Don’t Forget the Lyrics! and a very familiar song came about. Go on youtube, look up Marylene by Martin Circus and tell me if you recognize it at all.. you should. Saturday morning, Adriana came over and we made pancakes and two different types of cookies: our own creation-type thing, and double chocolate chip. We (being the greedy people that we are) put them in our own separate bags and hid them in our rooms, away from the families; cookies don’t survive longer than a day with a French family. On Sunday, I just went to church and then went back to Rambouillet, where Adriana and I went out for lunch. I spent a lot of my free time watching the fourth season of Lost. Because I stupidly made a promise not to watch the fifth season until I got home, I have to find other ways to fill my life with my favourite TV show. One of those things, you ask? I bought myself a birthday present. Now what could I buy that is connected to Lost, and makes missing the fifth season so much more worth it? April 25th is Lost in Paris day! Yup, some cast members are coming to Paris and we all watch the first episode of the fifth season together! Of course, I’ll be on a balcony, probably quite far from them but I will be in the same room as some of the actors! I’m so excited and I’m looking forward to seeing which cast members are coming.

Even though the “Dedicated Readers” window doesn’t show it (which you should sign up on if you have not yet done so), there are actually now 40 people registered to read my blog. I don’t know how many people still actually read it on a regular basis but it really is comforting, knowing how many people want to hear about my life in France. We’re almost at the 3-more-months point! I really am looking forward to coming back home and seeing everyone this summer. It’s the last day of March, and April starts tomorrow so everyone, enjoy it! Love always
Please Don’t Stop the Rain – James Morrison

Sleepyhead

So we’re finally coming up to that day when you guys can start pulling out your “100-day Countdown” calendars that I know you’ve all been keeping in the bottom drawer of your desks. Saturday, March 28th –my sister’s birthday- is the day that I’ve officially been here for 200 days and the day that I have 100 days left. It’s so weird that I’m going to be counting down in double digit numbers soon enough and it makes me realize that I really don’t have that much time left here. Then again, I don’t really have anything that can make that time go slower. Everyone knows the saying “Time goes by when you’re having fun” and if you think about it, in April, I have my vacation and my sister comes (SO excited!). In May, Steph, Donna, and Katie are coming to visit (wahoo!) and then I really only have to get through June, which is my last month here. Is it even possible to avoid having fun while being here? And then, why would I even want to do that?

Saturday, I went out for lunch in Versailles and then explored a cute little area of Paris for the afternoon. On Sunday, I went to church and then met up with Adriana and some of her friends for lunch. Adriana and I went back to Rambouillet, went to our usual café and then went to the movie Gran Torino, which was actually not too bad. This is already the last week of March, which is kind of exciting because April’s the best month of the year! It’ll be nice once it comes.

I remember a few years ago at camp, a pastor said a sermon that I have never forgotten. It was a story about a father and son talking about climbing mountains. The point of the story was that in order to get to a higher peak, you have to climb down the mountain you’re on and then climb up the other one; there’s no shortcut. I’ve always kept it in mind, usually when I wasn’t feeling so good about life and I always thought to myself, “It’s okay; I’m only getting to the bottom of the mountain. Things will get better soon.” At this point in time, I can only think, “It’s going to be a long way down from where I am now.” I mean, things only keep getting better and better but I know at some point or another, it’ll have to go back down again. I’m just hoping that instead of like last time when I tripped over a tree root and fell off the edge of the cliff, there might just be a nice little, shaky suspension bridge partway down, connecting me to the next mountain. And to think that each mountain gets higher and higher… I’m only looking forward to it.
Sleepyhead – Passion Pit

Electric Feel

There are two words in the English language that I believe should not exist together. You hear the start of it and get so happy and excited and then the second word comes and your happiness goes to an all-time low (unless you’re of course my mom, or crazy). Think you know what I mean? Okay, let’s try this. Spring (yes, you can feel it: the warmth, the birds chirping, lemonade and popsicles, a whole new beginning), oh and just wait for it: Cleaning. Felt that huge drop in happiness? I have somehow always managed to get out of spring cleaning almost every year; I think my parents eventually gave up in trying to get me to do it because they knew there would be no way to convince me into doing it. This year however, was a change. My arm muscles are really almost too hard from all the sweeping, raking and mopping I’ve been doing. Gardening has really not been one of my favourite things to do. I’m one of those people who don’t really see the point in planting a flower. I mean if it’s some kind of fruit or vegetable, I could help a bit but really, not my thing. Anne assured me it won’t be an everyday thing; let’s hope so.

So my week… well it was pretty normal. On Wednesday, I went for a really long walk in new shoes. Not the best idea. I have a pretty high pain-threshold, which in some ways can be a good thing but since I wasn’t in THAT much pain, I just kept walking and walking. When the pain started getting to me, I stopped to take off my shoes, thinking that my feet would just be a little bit swollen. Definitely huge open wounds on both heels and they are still there. I’ve had quite a bit of trouble walking or doing anything for the past week and they’re not scabbing over or anything. On Saturday, the family left for the rest of the weekend. Adriana and I went to Paris to go to a craft store and buy crafts! Afterwards, we went back to Rambouillet to buy supper at the grocery store, which consisted of chicken nuggets, pop, chips (Bolognaise flavour - as if they have dill pickle here), and mint chocolate chip ice cream. How healthy, eh? Anyway, we met up with Aimee and ate our supper while watching The Little Mermaid in French, which was definitely interesting with the French songs. We started watching 27 Dresses afterwards and didn’t even have time to do the crafts; I guess we have something we can do next weekend. Sunday, I went to church and then just came straight back home because I couldn’t walk.

And back to the nice word again (don’t worry, I won’t connect it with that other one): Spring. Spring in France is absolutely wonderful! Today, we had a high of 18 and it was almost TOO hot. It’s not even officially Spring for another four days but it definitely feels like it. It’s so nice to sit outside the café, have a drink, and listen to the music of the lonely carousel (which has a kid on it every once in a while if it’s lucky). I now know what Spring in March actually feels like and I love it! It’s so weird to think that March is already almost done but I hope everyone enjoys the last of it! Love always
Electric Feel - MGMT

Traveling Light

Friday was a good day for me and I just felt a happiness that could not be destroyed no matter what happened. I really don’t know what it was that day but I just couldn’t stop smiling and I just felt superpositive about everything possible. I decided to take advantage of my mood by trying to start a conversation with the waiter at our usual café (yeah, definitely didn’t turn out too well) but it was really for the fun of it and even though he went up to our other waiter during the conversation while he was “thinking” of an answer to the question I asked him and they both started laughing, I think they both found me and Adriana quite entertaining. And even though we did make fools of ourselves with our horrible grammar, I’d like to think that we made their day complete. However, maybe we’ll stay away from that café for a couple of days… It was Friday that something happened that I’ve never felt before in my life. Back to when I first met Antoine and he would absolutely refuse to say “hello” to me or when I used to pick him up from school and he’d say, “You’re not supposed to be here, my mom’s supposed to get me” or when I’d try to play with him and he would totally leave me so he could play alone, I really didn’t care at all. I always thought, “Okay, I’m here to be in France, not to be best friends with a four-year-old. If he hates me, there’s nothing I can do about it. He hated his last au pair, how could I be any different?” But slowly, he started to respect me so I would return that respect. His family still had trouble with him; his mom always explained that his father was the only one who Antoine liked in the world so I still gave him his space. He started talking to me; he started answering my questions with answers other than no and hugs became a normal thing. Soon, Antoine and Alice always trying to fight against me turned to Antoine always taking my side against Alice, “No, Janelle gets to decide; she’s older than you.” I really did feel flattered because this little boy who wouldn’t let anyone into his own world was finally letting me see a part of it. The little things mean the most in life and it started with those random hugs. Last week at the dinner table, he said to me, “Tu es très belle, Janelle” and my heart melted. Friday morning, I was walking him to school and we were about a metre away from each other and a dog barked. He got so scared, ran and grabbed me. I was so taken aback that a little boy would run to me and depend on me to save him from one of his big fears; I mean, when you’re a kid, that could be the scariest thing in the world and you’re trusting someone else to keep you away from that danger. Something definitely opened inside of me at that moment. That afternoon, Antoine and I were doing puzzles and just really enjoying each other’s company and that’s when it really hit me. I was really starting to care for him and I felt it from him as well, an unconditional love. I know that mothers always talk about how you can never love your own kid more than anyone else and it’s a different kind of love, a love that no one else would understand. But that Friday afternoon, for a few split seconds, I think I felt it. I know that it’s probably a thousand times stronger when you’re actually a mom but I really do think there was something there. I know I’m making a difference in this child’s life and I didn’t think before I came here that the kids would really affect mine but you have no idea how much they have. To feel that these kids depend on you and want your approval so bad, it’s one of the best feelings ever. And then I wonder if they’ll remember me; I don’t remember much from when I was four and six, nothing of significance anyway. But really I guess from me being here, it could very well shape them into who they’ll be in the future and I really hope that I had an impact on that in a good way. That evening when Alice told everyone that a lot of times, Antoine eats in the cafeteria alone, I was concerned. I mean, I really am probably one of his only friends. Every time his mom asks who he wants to invite to his birthday party, there’s never an answer. How devastated will he be when in four months, I just pack up my bags and leave, possibly never to see him again? I am dreading that day; I really am. I mean, I’m of course still looking forward to coming home and seeing everyone but to leave these kids is really going to be so difficult. PS The only picture I have this week is of Elsa at 4 months old; she LOVES to smile! ☺

On Saturday, Adriana, Aimee and I went to Versailles to go to our usual Versailles spot (with the most magnificent 10 dollar chocolate mousse). We then shopped around the mall before realizing that we were all too tired to keep on going. Today, I went to church and then went out for lunch with a friend. Afterwards, we went to the movie Marley & Me and yes, I did cry. What’s with me and crying during every single movie possible these days? I went back to Rambouillet where I went out for dinner with Adriana (yummy ice cream) and now I’m here!

As of today, it’s officially been six months since I’ve been gone. When I first signed up for this, I really didn’t look into the fact of how long ten months would actually be. I don’t think I really realized what I was getting myself into. At the time when I signed up to do this, I really was a different person and I don’t mean that in a sense that I was different than I am now even though that is the case but I mean I really wasn’t myself. I’m not the type to share; I feel like I have to be strong in every situation so this is really something that many people who were close to me might have noticed or it could be something that many of you had no idea. Starting almost exactly a year ago in February 2008, something really took over me. I felt like I had lost everything, like nothing mattered anymore, and that I was really hurting those around me just by being there. I really felt like the worst person in the world and I felt like my nonexistence would be better off for everyone. Not only that but everyone who was around me always seemed to get on my nerves for even the littlest things and I hated myself for getting so angry. I knew that something was taking over my mind and my body but I really didn’t know what to do about it and really kept it inside which was one of the hardest things to have to go through alone. I mean really, I have a great family, great friends, I have joys and hobbies, I really was blessed with an amazing life but at that moment in time, I really felt like I didn’t deserve any of it because I was that bad of a person. I went through it for a couple months by myself, keeping everything inside and trying to appear like everything was okay but soon I couldn’t handle this monster that was taking over me. I confided in my mom and we went to the doctor twice where they did many tests and said there was absolutely nothing wrong. I wasn’t convinced at all. I researched and researched during my spare time and finally came up with the solution, showed my mom what I thought it was and we went back to the doctor. They did some more tests and the next week when I was in Quebec, my mom called and said the doctor called with the results. The doctor plainly said to my mom, “You have a very smart girl.” Turns out, I was diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) with something that had depression as one of the symptoms and it was completely taking over my mind and body. Obviously during that time, I signed up for au pairing in France; I really just needed to get away. It took four months of being here for me to feel like my real self again, to feel happy for no reason at all and just to know that people DO miss me, and I DO deserve that. To say something that only the very closest people to me know, and now saying it to every single person who reads my blog, it’s hard; it really is. I’m really not writing this for people to pity me or say nice things; I’m saying it because I thought it might answer a few questions and I feel like the people who have been in my life deserve to know. At this point in time, I can easily tell when it comes back and it tries to take over me but being here has just made me that much stronger and I now know how to fight back. You know, we’re all people. We all go through our ups and downs and nobody’s perfect. I know some of my closest friends noticed a difference as much as I tried to hide it and I really do thank you for understanding. I’ve been in France for half of a year. You take an 18-year-old girl who has family and friends that she sees everyday and put her in a new environment with a new language, new rules and completely new people and changes are bound to happen. I’m now so incredibly thankful for everything that I took for granted but ten months is a long time. I think my thoughts when I first came here were that I would live my life here while the rest of the world would just freeze until I came back home. That’s not the case at all and it really does scare me; I know everyone has changed in their own little ways but I think I could be the one who changed the most of all, especially considering I still wasn’t myself when I left. I am a strong believer of everything happening for a reason, as I know many of you are aware and really, if nothing happened to me during those long five months of last year, I most likely wouldn’t be where I am today. Many people have told me that they’re so proud of me for being so independent and that I’m brave and that they really look up to me but in all honesty, THAT’S something I don’t think I deserve. I didn’t do this to be anyone’s hero or to make myself seem like a strong or good person; I did it because it’s what I needed the most for me and me only. It’s been half of a year that I’ve went without seeing anyone close to me, except for the two weeks that my mom came in November. Has it been hard? Yes, in a way… The first two months were the hardest of all but now I’m at the point where it just seems right. I feel so blessed to have been brought here and I feel like it’s changing me, and my life, for the better.
Traveling Light – Joel Hanson & Sara Groves

Freedom

Man, these things are awkward. Remind me never to do another video blog again :)




Freedom - Nizlopi

Life is Wonderful

So because of many requests, I’ve decided I should probably get another post in before February comes to an end. The last two weeks have been pretty carefree; the first one was the last week before the holidays. I ended up getting my medical form in the mail so the next day I went to Versailles and (after one hour and 45 minutes of waiting) FINALLY got my carte de sejour, yay! I am now an official resident of France…until mid-July that is. Adriana and I spent the last days before the holidays spending a lot of time and money in cafés and restaurants, comparing chocolate mousse before I left for vacation.

I was lucky enough to easily glide through Valentine’s Day without a trip to Paris and then Sunday morning, the family and I took the long trip to Hendaye, in the most southwest part of France possible. The train ride probably took around 7 hours but it was totally worth it. Hendaye is situated in Le Pays Basque and the Basque country is a small portion of France and a larger portion of Spain put together. They have their own language called Euskara, as well as their own flag, and they’ve been fighting for independence for quite some time. We stayed in Anne’s parents’ summerhouse and from the window, you could see the Mediterranean to the west and the mountains of Spain to the south. It was absolutely amazing!

The weather was quite nice there, averaging in the high teens for most of the week but I’m sure it would be even better in the summer. I got most afternoons off so for my first one, I introduced myself to one of the popular foods: txurros (or churros), which are basically sugared french fries. They were probably not the healthiest choice but they were still really good as I strolled along the beach and the port. The next day, I took a long walk downtown, which isn’t really a downtown at all but it was nice seeing more of the town. And Wednesday was my day that I went to Spain! Yes, I paid 1.60 Euro to take a 10-minute boat ride to Spain. It was so amazing how everything changed in so little time. No one I talked to spoke French, the roads were tinier, and everything was totally different. I don’t know a word of Spanish (sorry, the Dora the Explorer here teaches English) so it was difficult for me to communicate. Also, nothing was open from 1-4:30 so my first hour and a half of Spain, I didn’t really have a lot to do. I made my way to a café later in the day and ordered myself a hot chocolate, which was delectable! I swear it was just melted chocolate; it was so thick and didn’t have a hint of milk or cream. I’ve now officially been in Spain for a total of three hours! On Thursday, I went to Saint Jean-de-Luz, which is a small little town about ten minutes away from Hendaye by train. It had such good shopping (although unaffordable) and I was so excited to finally see some real ice cream (usually here, there’s only Drumsticks and popsicles). I ordered myself some banana chocolate and some pomme d’amour, so good! Friday and Saturday, I went hiking on one of the well-known trails, which was really enjoyable. Sunday, I cleaned the house and then we left early, early Monday morning. On Tuesday, I got the afternoon off so I went to the theatre and watched He’s Just Not That Into You with my Ben and Jerry’s ice cream (so good!). Wednesday, I went to Paris to do some shopping and today, I’m hoping to just relax.

You might have realized that I’m giving up Facebook and msn for Lent so I won’t be on for another 39 days but you can still reach me through email. I hope everyone has enjoyed their holidays if they had them and starts off their month of March amazingly well. Love always
Life is Wonderful – Jason Mraz

Sooner or Later

My week started off with not going to school and instead going for coffee with a couple of friends so that I could have something to eat. Because I was supposed to have my scan at 4:30, I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything after I had breakfast (which was superdifficult). By about 1:30, my hunger started getting to me so I left at 2 to make the long trip to the hospital. On my way there, I was just thinking, “Can’t I just have one Ikea cookie?” “An orange is healthy, that should be okay to eat…” but I ended up making it all the way through. Finally I got into the scan room, which is a bed in the middle of a huge room and a big circular machine at the foot of the bed. Not only that but there’s a huge window as one of the walls of the room with about four doctors sitting on the other side. Not intimidating at all… The doctor came in, asked where I was from and then he went on about how out of all the places in the world, Canada is the one place he wants to go to. Once he finished talking (which I’m sure was just some big plan of his), he asked me what arm I wanted him to use. I literally thought he was talking about taking my blood pressure or something, which I thought was really weird since I didn’t think it really mattered which arm they used. After I told him I was left handed so probably the right, he told me that I had really small veins. And that’s when I froze, “Why would he be looking at my veins, didn’t I sign up for a SCAN, not a needle?” I of course didn’t want to cause a huge scene in front of all the doctors on the other side of the window so I calmly just did as he asked, as he inserted an IV type thing, which put liquid into my arm during the length of the scan. And that’s all I thought about the entire time, like freaking out. After it was done I was so hot, you would have thought I just walked out of a sauna. My phobia of needles doesn’t really work to my advantage. Anyway, he told me the results wouldn’t be ready for a while and I made an appointment to come back the following week.

The kids were really not that fun to be with for the first part of the week. I think it had something to do with their mom coming back so they were both trying to fight for her attention, meaning they weren’t great to me. Throughout the week, it got better. On Thursday, there was a strike so most of the teachers didn’t work. That night, we got the piano set up and I was able to play again! It’s going to be so nice to be able to have something to clear my mind whenever I need to. On Friday, I was asked to teach Alice a bit of piano. “Sure, no problem,” I thought. And then I realized I don’t even know what a quarter note or half note is in French. Not only that, but the French use the Do, Re, Mi system and not C, D, E, etc. I tried the best I could and that night, I looked up a French-English music dictionary so in case you were all wondering, a quarter note is une noire and a half note is une blanche - makes sense, easy enough. Alice is so keen on learning though; she wants to play all the time and always asks, “When can we turn the page to learn the next song?”

On Saturday, Adriana and I went into Paris to go to the Chinese Parade, which was kind of dull BUT our lunch made up for it, which was of course Chinese. On Sunday, I went into Paris and did nothing in particular except take the metro from one side of Paris to the other numerous times (it was freezing cold out so there was no way I was going to walk around). That night, Adriana, Caitlin and I went out for dinner to the Taj Mahal, which was also very good. Monday morning, I went to BACK to Paris to check out the results from my scan. Turns out when I was young, I had the first part of tuberculosis and it scarred my lungs. No one knew I had it or anything so it was quite interesting. Now I have about thirty pictures of my lungs to take home with me. I was thinking of cutting them out and sending them to all of you so that you can post it on your fridges and tell everyone that it’s me in Paris but I later changed my mind. That afternoon, I went to Versailles to pick up my carte de séjour (finally!). I would like to say that I’ve grown to strongly dislike the French administration because every time I go to Versailles to the prefecture, something seems to go wrong. This time, I went up to the counter and the lady there was just so mean, “Oh, we’re closed.” “But it says RIGHT here that you’re open.” “Well, today’s an exception.” I was so mad and went back home. The next day, Adriana and I went together because she had to go as well. First, we stopped at an amazing restaurant with the most delicious chocolate mousse I’ve had in a long time. We then went to the prefecture where we both waited for an hour and a half until we finally got to go up to the counter. Adriana went first and got her carte de séjour (thank goodness) and then it was my turn. I gave them everything it said I needed on the sheet and then he asked for my stamp (yes, I have a teeny-tiny stamp worth 55 Euro that I carry around with me. You do realize that’s nearly a 90 dollar stamp right??), which wasn’t on the sheet but I gave it to him anyway. And then he asked for my medical form which ALSO wasn’t on the sheet and which I didn’t have because they still had it since they wouldn’t give it to me until I had my scan. I told him I didn’t have it and he told me he couldn’t give me my carte de séjour UNTIL I have that medical form (and he was saying this as he was waving around my carte de séjour in his hand). So, I have to wait for the scan people to write the medical clinic, who will send me my medical form and THEN I can go back to Versailles. And let’s just hope this all happens before February 28th, because that’s when my other thing expires. I will literally be getting on the plane to go back home in July and they will finally be ready to give me my green card. Ugh, French administration…

Anyway, the rest of the week I just kind of did whatever. I started cross-stitching and I’ve gotten so into it, I don’t really do anything else. I put up a picture of what I’ve done so far so you should hopefully be able to tell what it is; you should even be able to tell what it is without looking at the picture if you really know me. Friday was my official HALFWAY POINT! Now, I have less than 150 days left so that’s something to look forward to. On Sunday, I FINALLY went to church again (after 4 weeks!). It was so great to be back there again, with the pastor jumping up and down on the stage during the songs, as if it’s a normal thing to do at all churches. After church, I took one last advantage of the Winter Sale because now they’re putting out their spring stuff. This week is the last week before “holidays” (well, for everyone BUT me). I will be spending “holidays” going on a “vacation” with the family in southern France starting this Sunday and continuing for the next 8 days, meaning I will not be able to write in my blog until I get back. I hope everyone enjoys their holidays and I will write again as soon as I can. Hi Alyssa! Bisous!
Sooner or Later - Michael Tolcher

Home

I was going to go without writing this week but I thought I should warn you in advance. As I feel like I am just repeating myself over and over again saying, “This week I looked after the kids and then on Sunday I went to Paris,” and as I bet a lot of people are getting bored of reading my blogs, I’m thinking I should cut them down to every two weeks. I guess if I have something to say, I’ll post every week but if there’s a week that goes by without a post, it just means I’m waiting for the following one.

This week ended up well, even with Anne not being there. The kids and I had a lot of fun making cookies and just enjoying each other’s company. The last night, we made dinner together and when I was tucking Antoine into bed, he asked if I could sleep with him that night. The next day when Anne came back home, Antoine started saying, “Maman” so Anne would say “Oui?” and he would just continue saying “Maman” and the pattern would continue. I was playing with Alice and I was wondering why he wasn’t just asking his question since she was obviously listening and I looked up and he was looking at me waiting for ME to answer. I quietly explained that I wasn’t his mother and he quickly switched to “Janelle” (thank goodness). On Saturday night, I spent an hour and 45 minutes on a trip to Ikea (here, pronounced ee-kay-uh) and that wasn’t including walking. I found out that I could get a hot dog and drink for 1.30 and was amazed because you can’t even get a drink for that much ANYWHERE in Paris. On Sunday, I made my way back to Ikea since the last time, I only got to take a brisk walk around the store before it closed. After spending at least an hour trying to decide how I should redecorate my 10-year-old bedroom that’s been the same since we moved into the house, I found a mall that’s open on Sundays! Because I knew my entire family was in Edmonton doing our annual springtime shopping trip, I decided I should do the same in Paris. After getting many good deals, I took my +2-hour trip home.

As I come closer to my halfway point, I start to wonder if I feel at home here. I mean, it’s been close to five months and sometimes I still have to try to make myself believe that I am, in fact, living in France. But am I really living here? Sure, I’m breathing, eating, sleeping, which is technically living but when I’m telling people my life story, will it be “When I was 18, I moved to France and lived there for 10 months” or “When I was 18, I went to France and stayed there for 10 months”? According to my Widget dictionary, one of the meanings of home is “the place where one lives permanently, esp. as a member of a family or household.” Well, I am definitely part of a household and I like to think that I’m part of the family here but then again, it’s not really “permanent” – I will always know that in the end, I will be going back to Saskatoon. Okay, well let’s look at the next one: “a house or an apartment considered as a commercial property.” I’m assuming it has to be your own house. So for example, when I went to Trois-Rivieres for the summer, my three roommates and I had our own apartment. We did everything we should for it to be our home – prepared the meals, did the laundry, slept, had our own rules (and broke the rules given to us); we had our own independence. But it never really felt like “home,” maybe because it was a short five weeks so probably because of that same non-permanent feeling. Lastly, “a place where something flourishes, is most typically found, or from which it originates”…obviously meaning Saskatoon. So when I’m forty and I have a family and my own house, will I still be saying to my friends and colleagues, “Oh, I’m going back home to spend Christmas with my parents this year”? Or will I really find myself thinking of this as home anytime soon? Maybe to make it feel like home, you have to be able to go days without thinking of your past life, without thinking of memories, of people back where you came from, of foods you want to eat, places you want to go back to, events you want to attend. But for me, that seems impossible. It’s too difficult to forget everything that shaped me into what I am today. Why would one want to forget the important and meaningful things? I definitely still haven’t went a day without having a thought of “home” cross my mind, and I probably won’t until I get back there. Maybe this won’t feel like home until I leave and realize it’s gone. That’s the idea, isn’t it? - that you don’t realize you have it until it’s gone. But I guess the important thing is that for now, I’m enjoying myself here.

Tomorrow I have my scan to find out the big thing that was wrong with me approximately one month ago. I won’t be surprised if it’s too late to find out but it’ll be interesting if they do. I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Love always
Home – Marc Broussard

Shimmer

This week has been just as normal as all the other ones have. Monday and Tuesday were the same as usual and then on Wednesday, I got the afternoon off so I went to Saint Quentin to shop but didn’t find anything. Everything is already gone and the sale has only been for a week! I was walking down the street that afternoon with my black coat on, no mittens, and I was eating a McFlurry; I’d say the weather here is pretty decent.

Thursday was the day that I had officially been with this family for two months. Even though the kids and I sometimes get on each other’s nerves, I still feel like we have a nice bond. Antoine gave me a kiss on Thursday, which he’s never done before and hardly does for anyone else. I now notice when I’m looking for money or something else in my pockets, I always end up finding a stick. He has this obsession with sticks; he talks about them all the time, he always notices them in books, on the computer, he draws them, everything you could possibly think. We now have a “no sticks at the table” rule. I have no idea how he selects which one is suitable to pick up and carry to school. And because sticks aren’t allowed in the school, he always stuffs them in my pocket. I know, you’d think that I could just take them out once he’s safely inside the school but no, as soon as he’s out again, he asks where his sticks are. And I learnt never to take a stick out of my pocket the hard way.

Friday was when I had to go into full-on “Mom Mode” because Anne went on a ski trip for the week. That left me, Emmanuel, and three kids, which I knew would be quite interesting because Emmanuel’s idea of giving the kids a bath is putting them IN the bath and then coming up to my room and asking me if I can do the rest. Anne spent Monday to Thursday telling me once, twice, sometimes three times what I had to remember to do while she was gone. She explained that Emmanuel knows but he most likely won’t do it so I was capable of making decisions when it came to the kids, the house, or anything else if need be. What a weight put on my shoulders! Thursday, Emmanuel gave me my schedule for the week (it’s even colour-coded! Haha he was quite proud, I think) and it doesn’t seem too hectic so hopefully everything will work out fine. Saturday was fun. For lunch, we had hot dogs, which we’ve never had before. Then, I looked after the kids for the afternoon and then we went out for Chinese food, which we’ve never done before either. And because the church time was changed today, I finally got to sleep in! And I must have been so tired too because I slept through absolutely everything until I woke up at 10 this morning. Through Elsa crying, the kids waking up, the storm that was going on through the entire night (which I should have heard considering I’m on the top level with a window on my ceiling), it was very nice. I went into Paris at noon and met up with some friends for lunch. I’m getting pretty good at looking like a local; the only difference is I carry around a Tim Horton’s to-go coffee cup instead of what everyone else carries around. Zosia, Adriana and I went to an Oriental Music Concert, which was put on to celebrate the Chinese New Year. It was so cool, with all the different instruments and everything; I loved it! After the concert was finished, we went for supper where I got a much-needed lasagna and then we all went back home.

I hope that everyone realizes what an important day it is this Wednesday. Yes, it’s the day that LOST starts its fifth season and I can’t watch it until I come home. So, if you DO end up watching LOST (which I suggest you do), just don’t tell me what happens ☺. I wish everyone who has finals good luck and for everyone else, enjoy your last full week of January (man, doesn’t that happen fast??). Love always
Shimmer - Fuel

Meaning

Well, I hope everyone had a wonderful Ukrainian Christmas. For those of you who missed it, I’m having mine when I come back so you can most likely join me. I’ve officially been gone for four months, meaning I’m more than 40% done. On my 20% done day, I was told that the contract had been cancelled. On my 40% done day, I was asked to stay a year longer so faced with that opportunity, I gladly accepted. But not really, I just said that I needed to start university so I couldn’t stay. I’m glad that it’s working out so well with this family though! So many people said to me that it’s more important to start university and it’s not a good idea to waste an entire year travelling. I however don’t think that you need schooling to be able to learn. Going to a different country for a year won’t help you go far in life? I think this year will probably be the most important year of my life, making the most impact and making me learn significantly not only about a whole different culture, but about myself as well. Oh yeah, it’s so easy to just have the opportunity to go into Paris every weekend and not have to worry about exams and only have to colour pictures every day. But that’s not the case at all. I don’t think many people realize how difficult it is to not only move to a different country but to live with a family that you don’t know who speaks a whole different language. You’re living with your boss. It’s not, “Okay, my day’s over. I’m going home to see my family and I’ll see you tomorrow, boss.” It’s “Okay, my day’s over. Let’s all eat dinner together and I’ll help you clean up. See you first thing in the morning, boss.” It’s not “Okay, I’m done working. I’m going home, have a nice day.” It’s “Okay, I’m done working but if you need me for something, I’ll be upstairs.” It’s a whole new level of respect; it’s not only being their employee but also being a part of their family. It’s not just babysitting three kids and then continuing on with your day but finding a way into each child’s heart and getting them to look up to you and respect you. It’s not just a job but it’s basically your life.

On Monday, it snowed the entire day! Anne said that it hasn’t been so cold for years. I asked the kids if they wanted to make a snowman after school and they were so excited, but Alice paused, “…but do you know how?” Turns out these kids have never made a snowman in their lives. Alice went on and on, “And I’m going to tell ALL of my friends that I got to make a snowman,” she was very excited. That day, I went to pick the kids up from school and as we were walking home, Alice just quietly said, “Listen.” I realized that we were not listening to some distant sound or a bird in the tree but simply the crunching of snow beneath our feet. That familiar sound was just what I needed and we walked the rest of the way in complete silence. Once we got to the house, we each put on our three pairs of gloves, three pairs of socks, etc. and we started to build our snowman. The snow was absolutely perfect for snowman making. We finally finished once it started getting dark so we went back inside and I made them some Tim Horton’s hot chocolate. On Tuesday, I went into Saint-Quentin with Adriana and Caitlin for lunch and we also checked out some of the stores in preparation for the big one-month winter sale that started on Wednesday. When I went back home, the kids were ready to make another snowman. Not just one, but a family of them. We went outside to find out that the snow didn’t stick at all so I just showed them how to make snow angels. And that’s when I got another familiar feeling, although not a feeling that I really missed that much. When I stood up after showing them how to make a snow angel, I felt all of the snow go (of course) down my pants. And that’s when I remembered why I never made snow angels back at home. Wednesday was the big sale day and luckily I got the afternoon off. It was so busy and it was only the first day! Everything will probably be completely sold out by February so I’m glad I got to get a little bit of shopping in. I made a few purchases, which will hopefully hold me for a couple weeks.

Thursday and Friday were just normal days and then on Saturday after I was done work, I went into Saint-Quentin where Adriana and I went to the movie Burn After Reading, which was quite entertaining. On Sunday, I went to church to find out that the building had been double-booked so it was cancelled. Everyone just ended up going upstairs to chat over coffee and then me and about 15 other girls went to a nearby restaurant for brunch. It’s fun doing that because I only knew one other person there who was sitting on the complete opposite side of the table so I really got to know a lot of the other girls. After that, I met up with Adriana and we just walked around until we couldn’t feel our fingers anymore. We took that as our sign to head back home and when I came down for supper, both kids wanted to play with me. I guess that’s a good sign ☺. This week, it’ll have been two months that I’ve been with this family but it seems to have gone by so fast! I hope everyone has a great week! Love always

Meaning (piano version) – Gavin DeGraw